Author: Stephen

As I have no doubt mentioned before, one of the perks of my job is I get to work with some very smart people. People who got degrees in pure mathematics because they were simply so geeky they couldn’t help themselves. So, what does a Maths geek do when he/she goes out into the workforce? Well, they program targeting systems for ships, perform calculations that allow us to know exactly where the bomb needs to be dropped, or, in the case of, George Dantzig (uber mathematics geek of the 1940’s) develop the simplex algorithm, for the very purpose of optimizing logistics for the US military during World War 2. Maths is sexy, and maths can kill.

So, it’s always exciting to have a discussion with one of the maths geeks at work. On Thursday, a colleague (who, I am told, actually has programmed some pretty dangerous stuff) showed me this cool construct which is his computer background: a Mandlebrot set. All the diagrams here, I drew myself.

Ok, so anyone can look at a Mandlebrot and say “wow, that’s pretty. But really, what does it mean? Why do mathematics geeks get all weak in the knees when they see one? Why doesn’t he have sexy women or cars on his background? To understand that, we need to delve deeper into the mathematics. Come on, join me, it’ll be fun, pretty and exciting.

Continue reading Complex Numbers

Santa Monica: it’s something you hear about in movies (a number of movies have been shot there over the years). As a kid growing up in decidedly unglamorous South Africa, it was just as mystical and unattainable as Never-Never land. Yet, here I was, in down-town LA, winding my way through traffic on the right-hand side of the road, intent on soon arriving at this fabled place. We’d just been on a ride through Beverly Hills and Hollywood Boulevard and were about to make a stop at the place we were looking forward to the most. Santa Monica is famous for a few things: the beautiful beach, the pier sporting a large Ferris wheel and the beautiful Californian sunsets on the pier.

Continue reading Santa Monica Pier

One of our more memorable moments in Vegas was not actually had anywhere near sin city, nor even in the gambling state of Nevada, but rather over a hundred miles east to the Grand Canyon.

In hindsight, I was just a little overenthusiastic with our booking. The day we arrived in Vegas, I booked our tour to the grand canyon for the next day.

We awoke bleary-eyed to the sound of our wake-up call and dragged ourselves through the width of the Luxor over to the furthest entrance to the Excalibur. After waiting for the last remaining passengers to hop on board, we took a quick bus ride to the location of our tour bus. Sarah and I sat at the back of the bus and got comfortable for the approximately 4 hour drive from Vegas to the canyon.

Continue reading Grand Canyon

This post describes probably one of the most stressful days of my life. This all happened on Monday, 5th February 2007, I call it black Monday.

Before I launch into it, I want to make it clear that I am fine, mentally, physically and emotionally. I am taking care of myself. I also want to explain that it does seem as though I am making myself out to be a martyr here. Sometimes it feels that way, but really all I am trying to do is to do the “right thing”. Exactly what the “right thing” entails is complex and ever-changing.

Stephen spent the weekend with his parents so that he could spend time with his aunt & uncle who had come down for a visit. I met his relatives too, that’s a story in and of itself. That Monday morning I went to work with a fully charged phone, just in case things went wrong. I sent Stephen an encouraging text message, because I was worried about him, and settled in to work.

Continue reading Through the Looking Glass

This happened on 1st February 2007.

This is a continuation of madness takes its toll.

I met with a drowsy Stephen and his mother when they pulled up to their house. I was obviously buzzing at a hundred miles an hour. I wanted to take him straight to his psychiatrist and get him checked out. Like a car I guess. He was broken and he needed to be fixed… right away!

His mother was not so sure. As I have mentioned before, she was more comfortable with pretending there was no problem at all than dealing with it. At my insistence, Stephen called the clinic but didn’t get through. His mother called and she spoke to a nurse.

Continue reading Triage

Relationships are always complicated. Sadly, though, I think mine are a little more complicated than average. My father tells me that I suck at relationships about as badly as he does. Still, this genetic disadvantage doesn’t stop me from trying, over and over.

The day after our romantic dinner in the reunion tower’s revolving restaurant, I took Stephen to church with me. Strange place to take your gay date, you may think. I thought he needed to be introduced to some loving, welcoming, caring Christian people who wouldn’t judge him, no matter who he was. Ironically, though, I was nervous of judgment myself. You see, Stephen looks younger than he actually is. And he already is quite young. I feared what people (even gay people) might think of me.

Continue reading Admit impediments

Well, I mentioned that my trip back from Portland was “harrowing”, so I thought I should elaborate. It makes for a short but all too familiar story. It all starts with something known as the “puffer” (no, it’s not dirty, well, as far as I know anyway). The puffer is the machine shown on the right.

I was making my way through security, taking off my shoes, my bracelet and glasses and trying to juggle all of that in my hands. For some reason the security guards always seem to pick me for special treatment. Maybe it’s because they can sense that I am reasonably amiable and I’m not in too much of a hurry, so they can afford to mess me around a bit.

Or maybe it’s because I try to do things efficiently and they get annoyed watching me standing there with my shoes in my hand, all metallic things conveniently stuffed into one of them. Maybe they think: “I’ll show that smug bastard what airport security is all about.”

Continue reading Connecting Flights

I spent last weekend in Portland, Oregon. For those of you who don’t know, Portland is on the North-West coast of the US, just about as far away from Texas as you can get. People have asked me many times: “why Portland, of all places?” Well, firstly, I wanted to see as many different places in the US as possible, hopefully one a month, so anywhere is good. Secondly, believe it or not, I have a friend (Daniel) who lives in Portland.

He’s a kiwi and is about to return home, so I thought I had better visit him quickly before he disappears and there would be no one to show me around that part of the country. You probably know him as the enigmatic “Kyhwana” who is an unashamedly confirmed atheist (don’t worry. I made a point of hitting him with my Bible). It’s a good thing I had a friend with me too, I don’t think I would have as much of Portland if I didn’t have the advice of a local to go by. More pictures are published in flickr.

Continue reading Stumptown

Last weekend (September 1 – 4) I went down to Austin for a bit of a holiday. It turned out to be a very memorable trip, not the least because my timing was serendipitous. This post is a long one about how I discovered that Austin is, in fact, quite gay. The image on the right is of Stephen F Austin. The father of Texas and the man after whom the state capital was named.

I had just had a long day, a very long day. For reasons I may elaborate on elsewhere, I had been driving for 8 hours non-stop. About 4 of those hours had been spent getting from Dallas to Austin, in itself a 192 mile trek.

My eyes were starting to close involuntarily as I took the turnoff to my hotel. Thank goodness it was easy to find. The Holiday Inn is a place that I trust implicitly since I have been to their branches in other parts of the world. After parking in the temporary parking space I walked up to the counter and “bing!” the gaydar goes off.

Continue reading Gay Austin

It was coming up to my fourth weekend in Dallas. I had achieved all of the goals I had set for myself pretty quickly, there was just one big one remaining: I was determined to socialise with other gay people of around my own age (or generation). My experience at church had been disappointing, I really needed to get out of my comfort zone and start meeting new people.

Continue reading My first gay bar experience